Today’s hike at Turkey Creek consisted of the small group of “Me”, “Myself” and “I”… but we were undaunted because we are TOWNIES, and hiking Turkey Creek is one of the things we do!  We waited in hope and anticipation that we would be joined by others for the usual camaraderie and conversation.  Unfortunately, things became contentious fairly quickly when it became evident that this trio were the only participants in today’s hike.  “I” questioned if this really constituted a TOWN outing, since this particular trio does a variety of outings on its own that are not considered TOWN events.  “I” was unsure of protocol and whether or not the sign-in sheet was necessary in this circumstance.  “Myself” decided to take control and exert leadership by declaring that the event would ONLY be considered a TOWN outing if the group made it back safely to the parking lot with no injuries sustained.  With this decision made, we set off on the hike.  However, further arguments arose when “I” pointed out that this particular group was actually larger than it had been in the past due to COViD quarantine weight gain.  “I” and “Me” proceeded to argue if this was a fair assessment given the stress of the past 2 years (and therefore any weight gain was merely a stress buffer and didn’t really count) while “Myself” decided this was perhaps a good time to eat a snack.  The next point of contention occurred when “I” wanted to tell stories that “Me” and “Myself” had already heard about a million times, since in most cases we had all been together when these events occurred.  A decision was then made to proceed silently to minimize the arguing.  Next, “Myself” thought that perhaps the group needed a canine mascot, as most TOWN hikes on Turkey Creek usually have several furry companions present.  A plot was hatched to kidnap a dog, but “I” pointed out to “Me” and “Myself” that all canines encountered seemed to have human companions with them, and since there was little interest in kidnapping one of them as well the plan was dropped.  The group proceeded in silence then, making a fairly good pace…until “I” began to notice that there were a tremendous number of bird calls along the trail, many of which neither “Me” nor “Myself” could identify.  This led to numerous breaks to record bird sounds, hoping that these would be useful in identification later.  “Myself” had forgotten to bring binoculars and therefore could only identify birds as the ubiquitous LBBs (Little Brown Birds, or Little Bitty Birds).  Other nature sightings included various spiders, moths,lizards, and a pair of mating insects who quickly moved to the other side of the plant they were on when “I” attempted to take their picture, thus reminding “Me” that even insects desire some measure of privacy and they did not appreciate “Myself’s” voyeuristic tendency.  “I” couldn’t blame them, as “I” wouldn’t appreciate being photographed in this compromising condition either, so the group proceeded onward.  Water flow in the creek at crossings reached a maximum level of about ½ inch, but fortunately there were no unplanned swims or near drownings.  The group reached the parking lot safely, which “I” and “Me” conceded was due to the fine leadership of “Myself”.  Conversational topics (aside from the aforementioned arguing) were limited to a discussion with another hiker about the dozens of tadpoles in the creek and whether they might survive until adulthood, and a lengthy conversation in the parking lot with a Pittsburgh Steeler fan who noticed my bumper sticker and wanted to reminisce about the glory days of Mean Joe Green and Terry Bradshaw.  All in all, a fine hike even despite the initial arguments between “Me”, “Myself” and “I”…but we missed having other companions and their canines along!  PegG